A narrative

It was a fortnight before exams. I was buried in work. Just a few weeks back, I was buried in masti. Likewise. That day was the deadline for my laboratory record submission. I skipped my lunch, downed a juice and went to work along with my friend P. We had to miss our post-lunch lectures to finally complete it. Oh! At last! I grabbed my record and ran along a flight of stairs to my lab in the second floor with P beside me. Only after I entered the lab and gave my record to sir, did I realize that we were, at that time, supposed to be in the middle of a lecture. We bunked! *Bunking is, supposedly, a great offence to every Tom, Dick & Harry of the faculty.* Blow! I glanced at P in horror. Her face was a mirror image of mine. Presently, sir looked at me and then at his watch.

“Don’t you have any classes now?” he asked.

-Silence-

Lab in-charges, just to look at, are draculas. That, without us being guilty. And now?!!

“You heard me.”

“I have sir, yes.” Oh! trouble!

“So, you have bunked your class?”

I just nodded. Trust your voice to explain yourself at such times and you will invent a new dialect. Quite unintelligible to yourself. I didn’t want to take the risk.

“Is the attendance finalized yet?” he asked.

“Yes, sir.”

He gave me a sharp look. That was the time when I couldn’t speak even if I had anything to say. He started off. “Of course! The attendance is finalized. We don’t need to attend classes anymore. What good there is in listening to a boring lecture now? That’s what you think, right?”

He paused for a second. P was throwing scared glances at me. She was anxious that I would get upset. I stood with my head bent.

“You think you are a gem, don’t you? You think you are a miss-know-it-all. After all, you got placed in a company. *gosh! the sarcasm!* You have grown horns. Now the lectures have become silly and stupid for you.”

He flipped through my record and snapped at me for not labeling a figure well.

“I’ll show you. Lab externals are not far away. They are not going to be easy for you. I’ll see how clever you are. Let’s see how well you’ll answer your viva. One mistake and alas! You’ll regret. I’ll teach you a lesson or two, you silly girl!”

P was almost staring at me. She was now sure that I was weeping. She must have noticed my jaw trembling. She tried hard to console me with a comforting glance. But I wouldn’t look at her.

Sir gave my record back and scribbled something beside my name in the register, grunting “Too good to attend classes. Thinks she is a gem.” He soon corrected P’s record.

As soon as we were out of the lab, I ran into the waiting room. Just when P took my hand in hers to comfort me, did I burst out laughing. All she could exclaim was,

“Are you crazy?!”

“God, P! Look at you! You are woe-begone!” I cried.

P looked astonished.

“You surprise me! You heard all those nasty things! How could you possibly laugh?!

But wait, I saw your jaws trembling and your fists clenched. I was pained to see that you were trying hard to hold back your tears, and all this time you were trying hard not to laugh?!!”

“Oh dear! Cheer up P! I was frightened at first but the thing he said sarcastically about me being a gem tickled me crazy. I almost said ‘yes, sir’ but I bit my lip.”

“ Heavens! Go to gokul chat! *P said that thing about gokul chat ever since there had been an explosion there. It means – ‘go, die!’* You could have got us into a nice big trouble with cream-and-a-cherry-on-top if u said that!”

“You are right P. But you know, I always thought I was a gem. Unpolished. Being polished. We all are. Every person is a gem. There is something worthwhile in everyone. Let’s discover our worth and let’s shine!” I said solemnly.

P nodded. She looked at me and grinned.

Later, I confided to P that I was a little anxious about my internal lab marks. *Lab marks are awarded based on a single priority. In-charge’s impression upon you.* She kept telling me that they would not be very bad. Well, I hoped.

Next day, as soon as I reached college, P ran towards me and announced that I got 24 marks out of 25 for the lab internal.

I gaped at her.

“Are you sure?!” I asked.

“Indeed! The list of marks is put up in the notice board.”

“Magnificent!” I exclaimed, and hugged her.

Life sure has lots of surprises. Big and small. Pleasant and not. Doesn’t it?

'Billi' Blues

No, i'm not talking about my pet. I have no pets. It is about CAT (cat hereafter)...'see-aay-tee' and I couldn't dream of it being my pet. Come on now, pets de-stress. The antonym..i mean, the exact opposite is what cat does to me. And argh! It seems to be upsetting my modest language too.

Presently, it has me balanced on its palm and it can land me in/on
(a) GHMC dustbin, or (b) cloud nine. So much for one-and-a-half years of preparation. Okay, not exactly. Make it half an year....or maybe....three months? Anyways, Rohini sitting through out the day- working out problems, trying to comprehend the most incomprehensible passages and interpreting all those Mars-ish DI sets for three months straight is quite an achievement. The result? I end up with the same percentiles as i used to score before these blessed three months. Grossest gross. Tut-tut.

Now with one month left for the Doomsday, you can actually hear my spine cracking. It is not just cat-blues now- it is reds and greens and blacks (bleak(s)?) - all together in a stomach churning mush.

As a ravenous reader, i have always liked mystery novels. But my unsuspecting fancy seems to have gotten me into trouble. One fine day, God, amused by me, decided to insinuate into my life that blighted thing - mystery.
What will my cat scores be like? Will i get any calls at all? Even if i do get them, will i be able to pass through the next big thing...GD and PI? Tut-tut again. Reading/watching a mystery is fun. Being a part of it is...'yoww'. Tut...okay. I will not say it again.

But to clear my conscience- cat isn't as dark a picture as i have painted...it has its silver linings too...may be i'll talk about them when i'm done with the exam. It did not really upset my language ( it was just my meanness talking) , it rather enriched it (Fine! To some extent atleast?). And yeah, it has consented to being the topic for my blog.
Pretty sweet, no?



Legend

CAT : Common Admission Test.
GHMC : Greater Hyderabad Municipal Corporation.
DI : Data Interpretation

If pain was only skin-deep

Eyes stubbornly spill

the copious tears I try holding back.

The wretched feeling

in the moribund heart

returns with a vengeance.

Veins burst,

though I see no blood.

The bone aches,

like when you hammer nails.

And those nerves-

are they tied into a knot?

My fingertips burn,

when they brush my skin

Am I to melt,

and evaporate?

But at times,

I do wish I could.

Puff and gone,

never to be again born.

But what have I done,

to bear this torture?

My life now seems

in a perennial languor

My flesh has grown

so senile

The once loquacious lips

are now sewn up.

The lucid eye

is now a glassy sea.

Blood they say,

is thicker than water

But mine has turned

so gossamer -

that tears now seem

much thicker and darker.

The very people

I revered , I loved,

who once said

‘love you too’,

now each has, a derisive eye

that slashes my soul

beyond repair.

But oh, it is only human to err

then why is it that

only He can forgive?

If only, this incessant pain

would not crush the bone,

nor torment the mind,

nor pierce the heart.

If pain, was only skin-deep.

Or something real,

I could quickly amputate.

An ode to my handbag

My efficient, handy handbag

With flowers undying, blooming upon you,

Loyally hanging on my shoulder,

You keep company in my life’s pursues.

I missed my bus and was walking all the way

My new shoe was peevish, it bit my little toe

Every step hurt - oh, so very much

When ‘baggy’ conjured up a band-aid for my succour.

A lonely day in an alien town

Alas! The network did not follow me there

A bubble of boredom was swelling in my head

When you brought out a book miraculously.

Trouble yet again, at my work place

A seminar to be given at the end of the day

I lunge for my bag and there I find

My hair brush, my gloss and all that I need.

Walking on a road – deserted and dark,

I long for home which is ever so far

A twisted crook, I spot stalking me,

But baggy has a pepper-spray in its belly.

This mundane poem is an ode for you

I know you deserve more,

but that’s all I could brew.

Love you, my baggy, I always, always do.

Oh! sweet daughter

Grieve not, oh sweet daughter,

for he is not gone,

but has begun a new life

in the core of your heart.

Fear not, oh sweet daughter,

for he will shield you

against the beasts of time

through the memories of your mind.

Worry not, oh sweet child,

for he is well at peace

away from the agony of life,

in god’s lounge, sipping tea.

Cry not, dear sweet daughter,

for that will suffocate him

Be strong and be bold

and thus you will emulate him.

Nature

I was a child,

A cute little one

With a nasty habit of,

Posing questions to everyone.

Everything I see

Must be understood by me

And there always was my father

Whom I could anytime bother.

It was one such day

When a doubt came my way

I hurried to my dad

Asking, 'what is nature?'

He gave a knowing smile

And took me on a drive

And thus we were off

On a new adventure!

We went to a blissful place

Which was painted like a canvas

All I could see

Was a riot of colors

“Child, Who else can tell us

About the different shades of green,

Better than a caterpillar

To whom leaf is bread & butter

Dark and bright and rich and new

Leaves shine in green when fresh with dew.

Rising sun is red

Blasting out of the sea bed

Gliding far and high

like fire in the sky

Red in color is the blood the heart drives

Gushing and pumping, keeping us alive.

To know what is blue,

Ask the birds, they’ll tell you

High in the sky,

They fly and fly

Ask the fish, living in the sea

Blue is water, its life's key.

The tenderness of air

Is dear to a flower

Whose soft touch of breeze

It hopes will never cease.

The sweet smell of earth

Will never be in dearth

When there always will be rain

On this beautiful plain.

Everything wonderful

Everything serene

God's work of art

In red, blue and green

All this is nature,

With you, me and every creature."

Challenge

It springs on you out of the blue

Some people fear it, some pursue.

But not the light it holds is blue,

It is of the sun, every moment growing anew.

Oh! But there is, man and Man

made to be same but so distinctly not.

man- who sees it as naught but a phantom,

He trusts his feet more than his mind

and so he runs, not knowing where

away- from what, he knows neither.

But Man, he sees god in it

And seeks from it his power, his pleasure

and the purpose of his life, his first step, his last.

Because challenge is to his mind

what blood is to heart.

A violent orange flame is what challenge is

it has danger, but holds a promise greater.

Shun it and run-it will chase you and devour.

Face it and strike-it’ll be your loyal guide.

A vicious foe for the weakest soul.

A noble friend for the joyous heart.

Choose what you want, be faster, time is fast.